Beyond Murphy: Laws of Life

Next time you say, "There oughta be a law ...." stop and consider there may already be one. Especially one that goes wayyyyyy beyond Murphy's:

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, Your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the Stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, The very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start To move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically When you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of the Dance
If there are only two people on the dance floor, they will run into each other.

Law of Rugs/Carpets
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, By the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Yeah. I agree. There oughta be a law against laws.

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Algore vs. Belching Cows and Farting Mooses?

While cow's breath (the odor -- not the flower) is not one of my favorite fragrances (I never could figure out how "sour" grass could be converted to "sweet" milk), Algore may have met his match as a hot air blow-hard.

Take that anyway you choose. I do, however, recommend NOT lighting any matches for the rest of this post.

The Algore environmental crowd are sniffing out bovine gastrointestional odors as another cause of global warming. They're now blaming cows and moose for melting snow caps and homeless polar bears.

And speaking of belching and farting -- Algore obviously never met my Dad.

Dad's belches would rattle the neighbor's windows; his farts brought tears to the eyes of anyone within 50 feet.

Funny thing is, I always figured algore as a "pull-my-finger" sorta guy.

But I digress.


So read the article.

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Mitt Herds the Cow(ard)s Outta Iowa

The sports world should be so lucky. You know you're going to lose, so to save face -- you decide not to play.

No, this doesn't work in sports and it certainly doesn't work in politics.

Rudy and John (and Ron Paul, for that matter), can make all the excuses they want. True is, they took their ball and went home.

In addition to "offending" the most historic straw vote state in the nation, they failed to make opening curtain in the first event of the 2008 election year!

That's worse than blowing your lines with a cue card behind the camera, Fred. You all have heard of Fred!, haven't you? Fred! Thompson .... that undeclared, "I'll let you know soon" guy who continues to line his pockets with "testing the water" money while changing his campaign staff as often his youngest changes diapers.

What kind of political candidate for the Presidency of the United States "declines" to campaign? What does that say to the American public about determination and faith in -- not only the process -- but in their position on the issues????

When you hear someone criticize Mitt Romney or "alibi" his winning margin --- remember what happened in Iowa.

If conservative candidates are afraid of Mitt's organizational skills in a (as they describe "meaningless") preliminary state, what will they do when facing him in subsequent state polls? Will they feel more confident in "matching" his well-organized team in states less conservative?

Will Rudy and John be able to match the enthusiasm and focus Mitt demonstrated in this speech in Iowa yesterday?

Time will tell ..... May the best candidate win. And if Iowa is any indicator -- it will be Mitt Romney.

Romney Goes Spirited AND Spiritual

This is the man we need as POTUS. Mitt Romney --- spirited AND spiritual.

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